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Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. The less we have to worry about fitting in, the more we are able to stand out.

You have no idea how many of us are constantly trying to live up to an image that other people may find important. This is quite exhausting because it costs a lot of energy to constantly regulate yourself. There's a constant fear of doing something that doesn't correspond with the image. The problem with fear is that it suppresses creativity, joy, curiosity, and spontaneity.

There's a saying in Zen that says, "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." The less we have to worry about fitting in, the more we are able to stand out. Not to be better than others, but merely as a result of becoming who we truly are.

It's vital to find ourselves a place where we can be who we are, a place where we feel at home. If you don't have such a place, go look for it. If you can't find it, create it. 

Never underestimate the importance of having a place where you can show up as you are; where your whole self is welcome, not just a part of yourself.

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